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I Almost Let Go

by Julie Virgin, 15, Mt. Vernon, Maine

My pride seems to get in my way,
but that's not true.
I don't want to be vulnerable...
I need the control over myself.

I need to be on my own,
stand on my own.
I only trust myself.

I'm so sorry.

But I almost let go that night.
You held me tight,
gave me the support I need...
the support that holds me together...

And I almost let myself go,
cry on the shoulder that is always there,
the one I always denied...
but I couldn't.

I pushed you away...
like I always do—
gave away that needed support,
left to survive on my own,
to drown in my self-hatred...
my overwhelming depression...

But I almost let go.
I know I should have...
just to give in.

But please give me time.
Believe me, I will sometime.
,br>Someday, I will learn to trust again,
to let, just let go...
to allow myself be seen that way...
to not be ashamed...
to not be scared...

to be all right for what I am.

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